Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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