did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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