Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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