I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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