Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
