i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
