Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
