I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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