How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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