Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
