what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
