You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
