'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
