I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
