I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So squirting runs in the family.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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