Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Vodka?
Forever.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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