Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
