The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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