that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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