used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
