I checked into jail on foursquare
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
How does it feel to date your dad?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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