no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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