I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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