just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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