At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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