The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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