She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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