Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
