4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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