Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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