Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
