look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I understand Curling. That high.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Drake has all the answers
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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