You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
