Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We are two peas in an std pod
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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