hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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