we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
