A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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