Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
