I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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