Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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