OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
