i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
