Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We are all done wearing pants today
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
