I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
