Sry I called you an 8
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
