he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
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After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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