If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Gay?
German.
Pity.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize