maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
