i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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