she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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