when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
