I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Did I show you my penis last night?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
