had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
