my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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