Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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