If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
