Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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