dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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