Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
