im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
this just has baby written all over it
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.