sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
