Texts From Last Night

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  (217): View more from Illinois

  the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome

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  (217): the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome http://tfl.nu/yox5
  Replies (11) Good night (1530) Bad night (490)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back

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  (732): the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back http://tfl.nu/90ja
  Replies (3) Good night (1818) Bad night (687)
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  (585): View more from New York

  i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW

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  (585): i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW http://tfl.nu/w5kh
  Replies (48) Good night (601) Bad night (3779)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.

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  (860): Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years. http://tfl.nu/9khg
  Replies (78) Good night (6790) Bad night (875)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.

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  (507): I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is. http://tfl.nu/v0y7
  Replies (9) Good night (929) Bad night (2658)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.

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  (404): boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am. http://tfl.nu/8njg
  Replies (6) Good night (1114) Bad night (3305)
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  (716): View more from New York

  He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.

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  (716): He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready. http://tfl.nu/z83a
  Replies (9) Good night (4917) Bad night (799)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.

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  (252): Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me. http://tfl.nu/r53x
  Replies (5) Good night (3662) Bad night (942)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?

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  (937): Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding? http://tfl.nu/i14g
  Replies (16) Good night (981) Bad night (2538)
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  (714): View more from California

  BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.

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  (714): BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that. http://tfl.nu/qgn9
  Replies (8) Good night (2416) Bad night (869)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk

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  (704): She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk http://tfl.nu/c7yo
  Replies (6) Good night (2244) Bad night (683)
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  (209): View more from California

  High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.

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  (209): High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch. http://tfl.nu/isdv
  Replies (4) Good night (3403) Bad night (610)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.

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  (601): The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know. (615): My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens. http://tfl.nu/91vw
  Replies (10) Good night (1820) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions

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  (315): Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions http://tfl.nu/t04n
  Replies (0) Good night (401) Bad night (207)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.

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  (626): Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan. http://tfl.nu/e06m
  Replies (0) Good night (278) Bad night (220)

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