fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay