Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
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I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
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Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.