Where are you?
In a non slutty way
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
