I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.