Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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